(check out this music video to see the song, totally weird)
We all seemed to be having a jolly ole time signing this song until I began to think about what I was doing.
“Wow!” I thought, “How sad is it that I mull around this house for 12 hours a day, feeding, changing, playing and singing songs with nonsensical words, (I mean what does that song even mean?) while Kyle gets to go off getting smarter? It is likely that half the things I do each day with my kids probably does nothing to increase my knowledge.” Thinking this made me begin to cry. Well not only that, but thinking that I am no longer going to be equal with my husband in the knowledge department, how he was going to be so smart with his two extra degrees, out there saving peoples lives and all I do is play make believe, sing silly songs, and wrestle with kids all day.
The other day as I sat down to write this post I really couldn’t say anything positive about my situation. I was totally bummed. Two days ago this post ended with something lame like this “I know there are also a lot of wonderful things I learn as a mom but, ehhh, I’m just not feeling it.”
Today on a beautiful, somewhat warm Sunday, I am feeling a little different and a little more clear headed about life. So I will share some further thoughts.
Education is so important to me. I am one of those weirdos that loves school. I love the challenge of writing a good paper, and I love having random facts to share at the dinner table and intriguing conversation topics to explore with my peers.
On the other side of this story, I feel it is right that I am home with children right now. We are blessed that I do not have to work, we are blessed that my husband gets to go to a great college and get a degree in a certified trade with positive assurance of a job after graduation. I don’t feel like enrolling in a masters program is right for me at this point in my life but in full disclosure sometimes I do feel jealous that Ky gets to go off to school each day. Sometimes I do worry that he will be bored with me and my topics of conversation. I don’t think the amount of food my kids ate at lunch, the fact that Andie learned to rock her dolly to sleep or that Kacen correctly labeled all his colors are nearly as fascinating as how to assist in a birth, how to set a broken bone, or all the crazy cases that walk into a ER.
While I am not able to go off to school there are many other ways I can learn and grow here at home. This week I am excited to share with you some of those things.