Monthly Archives: March 2014

It’s Baaaaaack!

(this was written about a month ago, later this week you will get a follow up about my progress.)

You know that nasty gigantic bug I caught about 18 months ago, that big beast of a condition called depression? Remember how I thought I had beat this thing? How I was “really happy,” and “mentally healthy.”? Well, guess I was wrong.

Man, it just won’t go away. The crazy mood swings, the feelings of guilt, the weeping, difficulty concentrating, irritability, sadness, loss of appetite, gain of appetite, yeah it’s all there. But luckily I learned from all that jazz back here that when this happens I need to seek help.

I called up a therapist covered by insurance and got myself in right quick. And let me tell you, I love therapy. I recommend it for anyone who feels life is hard, haha. It is just relieving to decompress to someone who has tools to help you think about how you feel and will give you goals or guidelines to implement to achieve the mental health you want.

Generally speaking, depression can be treated by your family physician. And that is who I am working with for medication.

So there ya go, the cats out of the bag. I am still depressed.

This is personal but I want everyone to know that seeking help is not something to be ashamed of. It is a normal route for this ailment, just as seeking a doctor to help you with diabetes would be normal if you were suffering from that condition. And I want you to know the simple ways to start.

First, either call or get online and see what Behavior Health insurance benefits you have through your insurance. If you do not have insurance or do not have any BH benefits then google subsidized therapies, in my area there are some therapy agencies that offer cheap rated therapy for about the same price as a normal co-pay.

Second, make the appointment. Just take the first step towards mental health. It can be hard, sometimes almost feeling like an admission to being broken, but we are all broken in different ways. Not one person walking this green earth is perfect. There is no weakness in making yourself healthy and strong.

Third, follow up. Continue your course of treatment until advised by the professionals to change or alter your treatment.

I am not the perfect model for quick diagnosis and application of treatment. It has taken me a long time to come to the point where I have sought medical and therapeutic help. It felt like a resignation that being me wasn’t enough, that I couldn’t “work” this thing away with my own devices. But the small glimpses of perspective I have caught since I have started to press forward towards getting help have been wonderful.


Photo Club Catch Up

I got terribly behind on my photo club pictures but here are the last five weeks worth of photos. 
 Week 8: Work
This is my life’s work
Week 9: Play
I know this is a horrible picture but that blur right there is me crossing home plate. I can’t believe I scored for my team!
Week 10: Habit
I am in the habit of giving awkward smiles on the spot, much like the one below.
Week 11: Meal Time
Apparently the best place to have your meal is sitting on mom’s stomach while she tries to relax in the sun.
 Week 12: Story
Me and my youngest enjoying story time at the library.

Happier Than a Heather in a Doughnut Shop

I love doughnuts! Ky has learned over the years that I would prefer a dozen doughnuts to a dozen flowers any day. If you were to eat donuts from a box of donuts that I have bought it is quite likely that you would find a little note like the one below, written on the box.

I have a tendency of eating my doughnuts via dissection. So if you want to share a variety box of donuts with me, and I am paying, be ready for “Heather’s Doughnut Rules.” The rules are simple and goes as follows, you may not eat a whole doughnut, you might be able to eat most of one if I have already tasted it and determined that I do not like it. I do have some doughnut buying rationale, if I know I am buying for a crowd and my sole intention is to share with others not to gratify my own delights, I will buy only 3-4 varieties of doughnuts, that way I know I will be able to eat one of each and not feel left out of tasting something. So there ya go. I’m a freak! Haha but I is what I is.


Eye Exam

Dude, the eye doctor is the worst!
The dentist, I love the dentist, I actually go to the dentist as if it is the spa, I can sit there eyes closed, relaxing as my teeth are cleaned. No need to give answers, they look at the x-ray and fix the problems. The eye doctor is the most horrible of all selective procedures I endure. 
It is the examination of a life time.
You feel at every question that there is some right or wrong answer, but who really knows the answer?
And the people who work there must really get a kick out of their job, they make you do silly things like cover each eye and then sit there squinting with all your might to read the smallest type you can, missing like five letters in the process but trying to give the best guess you can because you don’t want to fail this exam after all. Then they have you remove your contacts and walk you around their building when you can see next to nothing, just to take you into a room where they blow in your eyes and tell you click the clicker when you see squiggling lines. I have two rambunctious kids I get hit in the head 20 times a day I nearly always see squiggly lines in my vision.
I have a mini panic attack each time I am asked “is one better or is two better?” Then you feel like a crazy person asking to see each again, and again and again because quite honestly you can’t really tell the difference. Then comes the eye drops. “We just want to dilate your eyes. “ They say. “Just a little sting.” She warns. “Just let that numb your eyeballs, so the real medicine won’t hurt!” She assures! All the time you sit there whimpering and wiping yellow liquid from your eyes.
After all is said and done, your eyes looks like some creepy carnivorous  animal ready to attack and are as sensitive as all get out, they send you out to look for glasses frames that look good on you. How can you possibly make such a selection after your mind has been badgered and your complexion is splotchy and your eyes are oozing yellow dye?
But I do have to say, it is not very often that I remove my glasses or contacts in an unfamiliar place, when I did I realized how poor my eyesight was, and what a miracle it is that there is such advanced technology that can correct my vision so I can see the world clearly. That is a blessing.   
I decided to go back at a later day to pick the frames, I was in no state of mind to make such a decision, but hopefully I can decide on something soon, Andie seems to have walked off with one pair and bent my other so severely that they were unable to repair them. Oh she is just adorable.