Category: motherhood

Sometimes My Life Be Like

While giving my kids a bath the other night I was thinking about Kyle, he was out at a late night child birth class, a requirement for his nursing course. As I thought about how great it would be to get to go out to classes like that my thoughts floated into the lyrics of nonsense song and I began to sing,
 “Agga do do do,
press pineapple shake the tree,
to the left to the right,
jump up and down and touch your knee,
agga do do do
press pineapple shake the tree.”
(check out this music video to see the song, totally weird)

We all seemed to be having a jolly ole time signing this song until I began to think about what I was doing.
“Wow!” I thought, “How sad is it that I mull around this house for 12 hours a day, feeding, changing, playing and singing songs with nonsensical words, (I mean what does that song even mean?) while Kyle gets to go off getting smarter? It is likely that half the things I do each day with my kids probably does nothing to increase my knowledge.” Thinking this made me begin to cry. Well not only that, but thinking that I am no longer going to be equal with my husband in the knowledge department, how he was going to be so smart with his two extra degrees, out there saving peoples lives and all I do is play make believe, sing silly songs, and wrestle with kids all day.

The other day as I sat down to write this post I really couldn’t say anything positive about my situation. I was totally bummed. Two days ago this post ended with something lame like this “I know there are also a lot of wonderful things I learn as a mom but, ehhh, I’m just not feeling it.”

Today on a beautiful, somewhat warm Sunday, I am feeling a little different and a little more clear headed about life. So I will share some further thoughts.

Education is so important to me. I am one of those weirdos that loves school. I love the challenge of writing a good paper, and I love having random facts to share at the dinner table and intriguing conversation topics to explore with my peers.

On the other side of this story, I feel it is right that I am home with children right now. We are blessed that I do not have to work, we are blessed that my husband gets to go to a great college and get a degree in a certified trade with positive assurance of a job after graduation. I don’t feel like enrolling in a masters program is right for me at this point in my life but in full disclosure sometimes I do feel jealous that Ky gets to go off to school each day. Sometimes I do worry that he will be bored with me and my topics of conversation. I don’t think the amount of food my kids ate at lunch, the fact that Andie learned to rock her dolly to sleep or that Kacen correctly labeled all his colors are nearly as fascinating as how to assist in a birth, how to set a broken bone, or all the crazy cases that walk into a ER.

While I am not able to go off to school there are many other ways I can learn and grow here at home. This week I am excited to share with you some of those things.

sick-andie

Runny Noses and Nursery


(Some terminology is specific to my religious congregation if you are not LDS I hope that you can apply this to your congregation or social circles as well)
Having sick kids in the house sure can be exhausting. Your 1 or 3 year-old is sleeping like a newborn, waking every two hours because they are coughing, congested, wheezing and crying. Then not to mention you still have to get up and carry on, every day like the day before. 
It sure is tough to know when and where it is appropriate to take your kids when they are in such a state. I have heard some women express how frustrating it is for them when mothers and fathers bring sick children into public places, especially church. And while I do try my best to keep my sick kids home when I can, I cannot help but feel that the side of the story from the parents of sick children who take them into public places needs to be viewed with more compassion.
Doesn’t do justice to how sick she has been, but there are boogers on them there cheeks.
There are a variety of reasons why a mother may bring a sick child to church, some may seem selfish or inconsiderate but possibly you have not encountered enough desperate moms to understand. Mothers that suffer from depression, who have non-supportive/non-existent husbands, who don’t have close family to rely on or even more sadly not one friend at church to rely on, who need to come to church with their weekly ride to meet with the bishop (clergy) to receive a check to feed their sick and hungry children, who have not been able to take the sacrament for years and that glorious day has come, who are investigating the church (or coming back to Christ or coming to know Christ) and need to be there that day because they have been prompted by the Lord to be there, these women feel they need to be at church, sick child in tow or not.
I feel most of us moms are doing the best we can, and most of us are hanging on by a thread. Rather than us women ganging up on all the moms who have ever made the call to take a child who is sick out of the house, let’s gang up to find a way to alleviate their burdens, to be good friends, and get to know these women better and understand their point of view. Then lovingly and gently introduce them to your view points on children’s health.
An experience I had four years ago dramatically altered my view on children’s health.
My son was born four years ago in February. I lived in Rexburg Idaho, a known stewing pot for RSV and I was a little paranoid about my son’s health. My older sisters, who were also my closest confidants and best friends, were due to visit me and my new bundle of joy. Micah, the oldest, flew in from Georgia for two weeks. K’Leena, a new mother herself, drove up from Utah. When K’Leena arrived I noticed her young daughter had a runny nose. I began to feel anxious that my new little one would get this runny nose and his life would be miserable.
K’Leena was staying with an aunt in a nearby city and I asked her not to come back with her daughter again unless she got better. Seriously one of the biggest regrets of my adult life, I kept my own sister and her sick baby at bay because of my paranoia. It only took a couple of hours for the full measure of what I did to be realized. Unknown to us, K’Leena, a five year career woman was struggling from postpartum depression being a new mother and being home all of the time, on top of that her husband had decided the day before to quit his stable well-paying job to go back to school, with no other job prospect lined up, meaning they would lose their home. She was also feeling some residual animosity from a similar situation with my sister Micah. What I did pretty much broke my sister’s heart, she needed us, her sisters, and because I did not want to be put out with having a sick child I turned a blind eye to her needs. Our relationship has begun to heal but it is a slow process. If there was any way to take back what I did, I would easily endure having a sick baby rather than the chasm that entered our lifelong friendship.
I would hate for any one of you who feel frustrated by this same sort of situation to inadvertently or irreversibly break a mother who is just doing her best. The state of a young mother is a fragile thing. We as women need each other; we need to build each other up.
There are a lot of things in this world we can change, the easiest by far, is ourselves; the hardest, is other people.  
After my situation with my sister I decided to change my mind frame. I now just see childhood as a time where runny noses are frequent, where kids get sick and get better. And when they are sick and I am up in the middle of the night for the fifth time cuddling my 18 month old, I try to enjoy that time looking at my sweetheart. Most people with healthy immune systems will not be severely harmed by common viruses, colds, flus, stomach bugs, etc.
I am not propagating irresponsibility with children and illness but I am just hoping to shed some compassion on the hundreds of parents who take their sick children out. And I ask that you please be cautious about what you post on Facebook especially when it comes to peoples actions at church. Your burst of frustration could really make a mother or father feel like a failure in a role they are doing the best they can in.
Christ bore our burdens and commands us to be like him, if the burden we need to bare is having our children be sick for someone else to worship God on a Sunday, perhaps that is ok. .
Wishing you and all your runny-nosed little ones a healthy winter.
Love,
Heather
andie-sleep

Bad Mom Moment: Leaving My Kid Home

This weeks second runner up for worst mom moment went something like this:

We had four missionaries from our church over for dinner and after we all started eating I noticed that Kacen wasn’t eating and was playing with his cousins, so of course I yell over to my child sitting at the kids table to “stop playing and eat dinner!” Three minutes later I noticed he still wasn’t eating and was asking for bread I yell again, “No bread until you eat all your noodles and veggies.” His five-year-old cousin sitting next to him quickly replied, “he doesn’t have any food.” Shocked I look down and see his full plate of food that I dished up still sitting on the table by me, I jokingly told our guests, “My book on parenting will be out soon, I’ll send you a copy free, we have a whole chapter on withholding food.”

If I were to write a chapter on the next subject it would be called, “Leaving your sleeping child home, nearly alone, while you go shopping.”

I am sure there is no back story needed, but here it is anyway.

Earlier in the morning I had mentioned to no one in particular but just into the great void of the house “When Andie goes down for a nap we are going to the grocery store.” So when she was ready to sleep I laid her down and sort of in the back of my mind thought that my acknowledgment at the breakfast table to anyone who was listening in the house might have hit the ears of my mother-in-law who surely wouldn’t mind if my sister-in-law, Kacen and I left to go grocery shopping while Andie was napping. So we’re walking down the freezer isle mostly done with our shopping and I realized, you know I never actually told Valarie that we were leaving, I wonder if she even knows that Andie is there! I could not believe this giant lapse in my child’s safety!

Yeah when we got home Valarie had no idea that Andie had been there, but luckily Andie slept for a nice long time.

Yep bad mom moment fo sho.

I am sure others have had moments like this and I would love to hear funny stories but please don’t leave anything legally incriminating in the comments.

Oct-2012-Nov-2012-186

K’Leena’s Story Part 5: When I Woke Up

K’Leena’s Story parts Parts one, two, three, and four

When I awoke…

The first thing I remember when I started to wake up was the nurse telling me that Kendra was beautiful.  I said, “Kendra?  Don’t let Ryan name the baby!”  Then I went back to sleep.  Again when I woke another nurse said, “Kendra is beautiful.”  Again I said “Kendra?  No, no, no that is not her name!  Don’t let Ryan name the baby!”  Then I feel asleep again.  I’m not sure how long I was out but when I awoke the third time I was a little more lucid and asked how the baby was?  The nurse again told me that Kendra was fine, and this time I said, “where is Ryan?!  He is not allowed to name the baby!”

In Ryan’s defense because everything was so rushed we had not talked about naming the baby.  I just assumed we would talk about the name before making anything permanent.  When I talked to Ryan about the name he said he had already texted, emailed, and told everyone that her name was Kendra Elizabeth Mellor. Then with that they brought the baby in and I finally got to see and hold her.  She was beautiful and healthy. I was so happy.  I was worried because she was a month early and the amniocentesis results came back that her lungs were not ready, implying that she was going to have all kinds of problems but I was holding my perfect little baby girl and she was healthy.  No tubes hooked up to her and no visible problems.  Then because I wanted to have some say in her name I agreed to live with Kendra but changed her middle name to Nichole.  So now she was Kendra Nichole Mellor.  Born November 2, 2012 at 2:40pm.  Weighed 6 pound 15.5 ounces.  19.5 inches tall.  And just as I was holding Kendra for the first time my mom walked in to my room and held me.  I was so happy she was able to be there.

Minutes later doctors nurses kept coming in to check on me and Dr. Hancock said that they were still running some test on the cyst but that it did not look cancerous to him however there were some abnormalities that they were looking into.
After several doctors, nurses, and interns checked on me and the baby.  I was finally able to get some peace and quite with what felt like PAINFREE for the first time in a year.  When they would ask me how I felt I always said “GOOD, GREAT, VERY LITTLE PAIN”.  One doctor said I was the first patient he had ever talked to after birth and major surgery that described themselves as PAINFREE.  But after being in the pain I was in for so long I did really feel great.  Until I had to move then I realized yes I still have pain but I was hopeful that it would go away once I fully healed from the surgery.  Life was good.
Until I went in for my 3 week post surgery check up with Dr. Hancock….

Spit it Out: Thoughts on Child Therapy

‘Aight, so let’s shoot straight about the whole child therapy thang. Recently a friend of mine asked on facebook if she should seek help for her daughter, who is three, because she has a stuttering problem that seems to be getting worse. She wasn’t sure if this is something that her daughter would grow out of. I am no expert, but here is my experience about this whole, developmental progress thing.

Like I mentioned in this post my little Kacen seemed to be progressing fine for two years then he started to retrogress. I started to notice he wasn’t talking and all of his peers were. I mentioned this to some family and friends and most people said things like, “He is only three.” “Some kids are late bloomers, you know Jeanie up the street had a son who didn’t talk til he was five, not a word then one morning at breakfast he asked for bacon and eggs!” “Oh he will pick things up soon enough just give it time.” Yes, in some cases these things are true. And I do feel that in some ways we are too quick to rush our kids off to this or that specialist. But I also think that sometimes people are just trying to be nice and optimistic.

Heck I did it for a long time. When Kacen was two, nearing three, and still not using very many words I kept rationalizing, “Well when he is three, if he isn’t using A LOT of words then I will get help.” No one wants to feel like their kid is not “normal.” I believe most parents look at their kids and have high hopes and dreams for them. I often envisioned that Kacen would be such a cool kid, with lots of friends, he’d be super funny and smart, maybe even his Senior Class President, haha all the things I wanted for myself but drew up a little short on. Sort of silly things, but you know, I want him to be liked and to have friends. When your child is not up to par developmentally we all know that sometimes those social situations can be very difficult. Not to mention that in some ways I didn’t want to admit that he wasn’t “normal.” Often times we do that for other people, we just want to be so optimistic that their child will be “normal” or “fine” that we don’t want to offer the suggestion of seeking help.

My sister, K’Leena (who we have been hearing from), has a beautiful daughter Emily. Em is about a year older than Kacen and has also struggled with her speech and developmental milestones. So K’Leena told me right away to at least go get things check out. I drug my feet for a while but that third birthday was creeping up so I started the process of testing. And yep, the state took Kacen into their program right away for his speech and other developmental delays.

You know, Ky and I kept holding Kacen up to some imaginary line of normalcy. And our frustrations would mount when he wasn’t doing what we thought he aught to be able to do. However, recently K’Leena said something to me that was sort of profound and really made me re-evaluate how we treat Kacen and his skill level. She said, “I had to be honest with myself, Emily may never talk, but that is ok, whatever Emily does will be her normal, and that is the only standard she needs to be held to.”

We are lucky and Kacen is making marked improvements in his speech and behavior but K’Leena was totally right, as long as Kacen is working his hardest and we are exhausting our efforts to help him achieve his best, what he does will be his normal and I need to be ok with that. Optimism is great, but I have learned not to hold too many visions of what my kids will be, instead I should nurture who they are now. Kace is such a special kid, just so sweet and so energetic, we love him to pieces. Feeling at peace with his skill level has really opened my heart, it has really lifted a burden that I feel in this competitive world. Yeah it is scary to think that my kid might get teased because of his speech but that is why I need to work right now to help him feel and know that our home is a safe place, a place of refuge, love and happiness.

K’Leena’s Story Part 4: The Whirlwind of Doctors and The Birth


Part Four of my sisters amazing story. Parts one, two and three
The Whirlwind of Doctors and The Birth
After the ultrasound showing that my cyst was now so huge that it no longer could be measured I was wheeled off to room to wait, not allowed to leave the doctor office but just wait.  I was so glad my dad was with me at this time because I was in a fog of emotions and pain, I could only remember parts of what the doctor were telling me.  A team of doctor were quickly assembled to review my case and consult on the best path for me to take.  They determined that by the weekend I would need to deliver the baby and have the cyst removed.

Since I was not full term I was sent to the Hartford Hospital to get a amniocentesis done, so they could determine if the baby’s lungs were going to be developed enough for delivery.  This time Ryan took me to the hospital and we got a little turned around so Ryan stopped to asked the police/security at the Hospital where we needed to go, without stopping to think we found ourselves with police escort to the valet parking.  Where security meet us at the car and I was then whisked away by them left to wonder where Ryan was but at the same time not worried to much I knew he would find me, he always does.  In the end we made it together to get the procedure done.  At this point my pain level had increased 10 fold.  The narcotics were no longer working and breathing cause so much pain that I had a constant flow of tears running down my face.  I was mess.

After preforming the procedure the doctor asked me if she could call my doctor and let him know how much pain I was in.  She said if you were my patient I would deliver you right away regardless of what the results of the test were.  As I waited in the hospital bed being monitored after the procedure and waiting for my doctor to let me know what I needed to do next, all I wanted was to have my mother by side.  Ryan was great however the nurses showed him some techniques he could do to help lessen my pain and he called my mom who left immediately to be with me.

Of course Dr. Hancock said that I needed to go right away to the Manchester Hospital without stopping, where my team of doctors were being assembled prepping for my delivery.  When we arrived I no longer could move on my own accord.  Things were moving so fast, I was so scared.  It was not how I had envisioned my birth.  I wanted to do a all natural water birth with no stress where everything goes exactly as I planned and the baby was healthy with no complications.  But instead I found my self hooked up to IV with even heavy drugs/ narcotics being pumped into me and signing my life away when I consented for them to do a C-section and major surgery removing whatever they felt needed to when they got in there.  Things like having a full hysterectomy, removing my gallbladder, my appendix, along with all kinds of other body parts.  Also I had determined the best thing for me to do was to be completed knocked out.  Which meant I would not remember the birth of the baby but it allowed them the time to take care of the cyst removal and whatever else they needed to do.

I remember there was one intern who kept coming in with all my doctors prior to the surgery and he was so excited.  He told me that he was the lucky intern that got picked to follow my case.  He said that all the other interns really wanted my case because it was rare.  Thanks intern you really know how to calm a persons nerves.  They prepped me for surgery, Ryan gave me a blessing.  My dad brought Emily by to see.  I gave hugs and kisses to all and was told that my mom would be here before I woke up for surgery.  And with that I was taken away.

The OR was so cold.  They lifted me onto the operating table, extended my arms outstretched and strapped them down as well as the rest of body.  The anesthesiologist asked me what music I wanted to listen to I choose country.  He turned the music on.  I looked to my left and saw about 20 interns filling into the OR as happy and excited as Christmas morning in the pack the one lucky intern who was in my room earlier.  As turned back to look at Dr.  Hancock he said they were all so excited to get to see not only a C-section but major surgery.  And I heard their teacher or the doctor in charge of them start explain how this was a once in a lifetime opportunity for them.  I’m just glad I could provided that experience for those interns.

Then shaking because of the cold Dr. Hancock told me that normally they would wait tell I went under to prep my belly but that they needed to now before I went under so that the could deliver that baby the fastest as possible.  They did not want the baby to get any of the anesthesia drugs, so they had to be fast he said.  Then they proceeded to wash my belly with even more cold stuff.  I was shaking so much and was so scared.  I wished I could see Ryan and that he could stroke my face and calm me down, but he was not allowed in the OR.  The assured me he was waiting right outside the OR and that the baby would be taken to him as soon as it was delivered.  So I focused on Taylor Swift singing “It’s a love story” and I was gone.

K’Leena’s Story Part 3: Hurrican Coming and Help is on it’s way!


Sorry it took so long to get more out but here is the third installment of my sister’s pregnancy/birth/new mom story. To read part two or one click here or here

Hurrican Coming and Pregnant, Help is on it’s way!
I was now 5 months pregnant and living in a strange new place called New England.  I prayed for help to be able to find some doctors who would be able to help me manage the pain of the cysts and deliver my baby.  Through a series of different outlets I found myself walking into Dr. Hancock’s office.  I did not know it at the time but Dr. Hancock just happened to specialize in ovarian cysts, although he had not seen cysts as big as mine in a pregnant women, ever, he assured me that I was in the right place at the right time.  A peace came over me and for the first time in my pregnancy I allowed myself to believe that I would not lose the baby.

Time went by and I tried to do the best I could.  Which was typically this:  I only went up our stairs to get outside once a day if I even did that.  I stopped doing housework.  As soon as Emily came home from school I would put a movie(s) on for her until Ryan came home from work.  (Thank goodness the school program Emily was enrolled in at that time was full-days every day of the week.)  I played the Ipad to take my mind off the pain.  I read a lot of books to do the same.  I continued to try to attend church every week but it usually came down to me only making it about twice a month. Also I stopped cooking meals or shopping, so the women’s organization at our church, the Relief Society, was bringing in meals twice a week if not more.  And when Ryan was not home Emily stepped up and was really good about getting me water and bread.  I really don’t know what I would have done without her; she is such a sweet girl and took good care of me.  And that is how life went until I was 7 months pregnant.

At that time my sister and her family came to stay at our house overnight on their way home from visiting my parents in Maine.  When they were getting ready to leave the next morning I lost it.  The pain by this point was so much that all I literally could do was get out of my bed (with help from Ryan) make it to my chair and not move again until bedtime that night.  I would cry if I had to go to the bathroom which was about a 7 foot walk away from my chair.  It took everything I had to make it to the bathroom and back to my chair and that was with help.  I would have to hold it if Ryan was not home to help me because I could not make it on my own.  I was on heavy medications at this time but the pain was so bad that all the narcotics were doing were taking the edge of the pain so I would not cry non-stop all day every day.  When my sister saw my condition she asked me if I needed any help.

Help was exactly what I needed.  Stupid of me, I thought I was dealing was dealing with life just fine, until she asked me and I realized how much I did need help.  So Heather being the sweetheart that she is sent her dear husband Kyle home alone and stayed with her two kids (Kacen, age 2 and Andie, age 3 months) to take care of me and my family.  Needless to say it was very difficult for her but I was and will always be very grateful for Heather’s help during this difficult time in my life.  Heather doing her sisterly duties at this time alerted my family about my condition, which in turn started a chain reaction of help and concern.  One thing I love about my family is that they truly care and are willing to doing whatever they need to do to take care of one another.

Heather had figured she could probably stay only about 2 weeks with me because she needed to get home to take care of some business.  She had arranged with my dad to come down and stay with me after that until I no longer needed any help.  Well the pressure was building Kacen and Emily were not playing well together and Heather being a new mom was basically not getting any sleep or rest.  She was a trooper but on top of all that was going in our house a Hurricane was coming.  With the threat of the Hurricane Heather decided she needed to leave early and get home as soon as possible.  So my dad dropped everything and left as soon as he could that day but he had a 6 hour drive ahead of him in bad weather.  And unfortunately since Heather sent Kyle home alone she did not have car so her only way home was to have Ryan drive her half way where she was planning on meeting up with Kyle, which left me home alone with the threat of a Hurricane looming down on New England.

I knew that if it got bad there was going to be nothing I could do to save myself expect pray for help.  Luckily nothing happened to our house and Ryan and my dad both arrived within minutes of one another back to house safely and we were able to weather the storm with no damage. The power only went out for a minute.  All was well for now.

My dad was a big help and went with me to all my doctor appointments and took me outside and shopping.  He would get me a wheelchair to ride in wherever we went and would push me around where I wanted to go.  It was so nice to be able to get outside again. Then we went for my regular OB checkup and noticing that the pain had increased dramatically since my last visit they decided to do an ultrasound to see if anything had changed.  It was exciting for my dad to get to see the baby.  When the ultrasound tech left the room to get the doctor my dad asked me where the cyst was because he could not see it very well.  I showed him. Basically it was taking up the entire screen and going into the next screen that is why he could not tell.  It was huge.  I knew at this point that it was not good.  The doctor had told me before that everything would be fine as long the cyst stayed at 8cm and did not get any larger than that, well this was measuring well beyond 8cm.  In fact it was too large for the tech to even measure it.  And just like that a fast paced whirlwind of commotion started.

K’Leena’s Story Part 2: Journey to Connecticut

If you missed Part 1 of my sister’s story you can read it here enjoy Part 2 :)

Journey to Connecticut 
Ryan’s company gave us 2 weeks to prepare before we needed to be in Connecticut.   2 Weeks!  We had so many things to take care of and my weakened body was in no condition to complete it all.  I relied on the Lord in all things.  I knew it was where He wanted us to be because every morning I would wake up with a plan of things I need to get done to help us on our move across the country.  I would look at my list, start at the top and pray for help and guidance to be able to take care of the task. And quickly I would be lead in the direction I needed to go and things were being handled.  Even though I was super sick during this time I was able to help get us on the path and take care of the things I needed to take care of.

Of course many many thanks goes out to all my family and friends that helped me along the way, I truly could not of done it without them.

And just like that after a whirlwind two weeks we found ourselves riding across the country in a moving truck facing the unknown future with optimism.  After about day 3 of driving I started to feel a lot of pain again.  It was very taxing on my body to make that drive.

Though we were moving to Connecticut our first stop was going to be at my little sisters, Heather’s, who was about to have a baby any day.  I was excited because of the timing and I was hoping I would be able to be there for her birth.  She was nervous because she really wanted to do a natural birth and wanted me to be there to couch her through it.  Well, we were somewhere in Nebraska when my sister called and said she was having strong contractions and would probably have the baby soon.  Ryan and I talked about it and thought maybe, just maybe, if we drive all night without stopping we could make it.  But the driving was extremely taxing on my body and I needed the overnight stops to be able to make it the next day.  So unfortunately that was not really something we could do.  Luckily, only a few hours later Heather called and she had delivered her beautiful baby girl all natural and did an awesome job without me there.  I was so proud of her.

Also during this time my parents were moving from Georgia to Maine.  So by the time I made it to my sisters house my dad was already there. And I was done traveling! I could not get back into the truck again.  When I saw my dad all I could do was cry on his shoulder.  I did not want to leave his arms.  It felt good to be with my dad and out of the moving truck.  I was in pain. I was sick.  I could not even hold my new beautiful niece because I was too weak and every movement hurt.  So I ended up staying for a week at her house.  While Ryan, my dad, and Ryan’s sister Autumn went to Hartford to move us in.

After helping us move in my dad went on to Maine.  And Ryan and his sister came back to Pennsylvania to get me and Emily.  Together we went on to Hartford and lived in a Hotel for 2 weeks until being able to move into a basement apartment in South Windsor. And finally I was able to sit down and not move for a while.

Finding Yourself as a Mother Through Cancer

My wonderful sister K’Leena found out last year that she was pregnant and at the same moment had a gigantic “ovarian cyst.” Read along this week as I share her story of becoming a mother and facing cancer. Also check out her awesome blog “K’Leena Creates” here.

My Normal Life?

I was forced to take a break from my blog and lets face it life all together because I found out I was pregnant and had ovarian cyst.  The cyst were very painful and being pregnant on top of that pain made it almost impossible to do very much in my life.  All my energy went into taking care of myself and my basic needs.  What energy I had left went to helping Emily and taking care of her.  At one point I could not even take care of myself let alone my 3 year old so I went to die on my in-laws couch, at least that is what it felt like.

Eventually I came off of the heavy narcotics that I was taking and could return home.  For about half a week I really thought I would make it.  My family came out to visit me and that was very nice, but still hopped up on so many drugs I was very limited as to what I could do.  On top of all of this the doctor kept telling me that I would most likely lose the baby I was carrying.

While my mom was visiting me she had a opportunity to get a great job in Maine, while she was busy interviewing and applying for this opportunity.  It was exciting times for our family.  I enjoyed having my family and especially my mother at my side to take care of me and comfort me in this time of need.  I told my husband that I would love to live closer to my family I need them at this time in my life.  After they left and went home my husband and I prayed about it and felt that we needed to move to Maine.

A few weeks after she returned home, back to Georgia my mother had gotten the job in Maine.  And I wanted to be close to them so I could have their support during this trying time in my life.  Ryan went to his supervisor and asked if there was any way we could move to Maine and he could continue to work for his company.  They came back and suggested Washington DC, I said No that I wanted to live in Maine by my parents.  They came back and said how about Hartford, CT.  I prayed about it and by lunch time that day I told my husband that Hartford, CT would work just fine.  After all it was only about 5 hours to my where my parents were going to be living in Maine and about 5 hours to where Heather lives in Pennsylvania.

That one decision started a whirl-wind of stuff happening so fast I could barely keep up.

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Confession: My Kids Eat Off the Floor

Ky is a germ freak, working in an ER and training to be a nurse do not help his phobia of germs. I was never gonna be a germ freak, but after 7 years of marriage his phobias have somewhat rubbed off.

However, sometimes (like usually always), I let my kids eat food after it falls on floors that I wouldn’t eat off. It is so wrong I know. But don’t judge me too quickly because I do have some basic guidelines:

  • If my children are younger than a year I usually don’t let them eat floor-fallen food, but after a year it is fair game.
  • If the item is a moist food, watermelon for instance, usually it just goes in the garbage, but crackers and bread are a-o-k.
  • Grass, mulch, rocks and sand are all simply organic spaces, eating food that has touched those places is pretty much the same as gardening.

Places I should be ashamed of letting my kids eat food that has fallen on the floor but have totally let them and probably on multiple occasions: Costco, sidewalks (though this may contend for an organic space), places with cats and dogs and as the photo below depicts the World War Two Memorial in Washington DC.

I may be a sick-o in some books but I do confess, I let my kids eat off the floor.